Search
  • Tasha Robinson-White

Being a Mom Versus Being a Friend with Your Adult Child


My babies I love them dearly except they are no longer babies. Let’s start with my 20 year old daughter, she can be the sweetest and the meanest all at once. I know she gets that from her Dad’s side of the family, yes I’m laughing out loud, she gets it honest from both, I guess.

She is home for the summer after living semi independently on her own in California for the past 2 years. I say semi, because my husband and I still paid her rent and tuition, however she maintained her daily expenses by working her retail job while going to school.

Now she is home for the summer and of course, I am enjoying her being here because I get to spend time with her as she has grown and matured since she was away. We work out, go shopping, watch movies and to the salon for our girly time. We have some of the most intimate and spiritual conversations.

It’s true I gave birth to my best friend. I often catch myself tearing up because I am so proud of her accomplishments thus far and the fact she has made some really wise decisions for herself regarding her education and the next phase of her life.

Most mothers can relate wanting our daughters to be better versions of ourselves. There is just one thing, she does things at her own pace and sometimes it’s not fast enough for me. I know this is a break for her from her Los Angeles lifestyle but it is not a break from life, we don’t get those. In 8 weeks she will be back in LA and I want her take in what she can but also prepare for what’s next.

I guess my concern is how do I not sound like a nagging mother who forgot what it was like being 20, back in your parents house after being away in college with limited rules?

In my mind, I feel like if I knew what I know now back then how different I would have viewed things... I would suggest to her a game plan which I know will work to her benefit but I feel she looks at me like "my mom is trying to run my life."

Being a mom... that is a daughter... that has a mom... that use to think that way... it’s obvious this is a cycle. Hmmmmm, did I just answer myself?

I need to talk to my mom.

What experiences do you have with your sons and daughters that are reaching adulthood? I'd love to hear from you! Contact me!